A DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH, A BEAUTIFUL
by paulie K.
Paulie K: Well thank you for taking the time to sit down with us, Penthouse Pet for February!! I am honored.
Jewels Jade: Thank you, Paulie K.
PK: Let me ask you about something way back in time, tell me about your virginity.
JJ: The whole thing? Like how I lost it and everything?
PK: Yes, please.
JJ: I was 17, lost it to my boyfriend, and then we got married. It was my senior year, and I actually skipped my high school prom to get the technique of sex down.
PK: You didn’t even go to your prom, because you had to master sex?
JJ: Well I went, but it was incredibly boring. Everyone was standing around and I just grabbed my boyfriend and told him we had to go practice sex.
PK: So you really enjoyed it.
JJ: No, I thought I sucked at it. It was hurting, it didn’t feel good, so I thought I was doing something wrong.
PK: You thought you were fucking wrong, and you wanted to fix it and become a Jedi Master at it.
PK: Jewels Jade, I am here today to tell you, your training is complete. No more training do you need – you are a Jedi Master.
JJ: Oh good. Ha ha. Thank you.
PK: Where did you lose the virginity?
JJ: I lost it in my friend’s bedroom. She was a crazy and slutty good friend of mine. I swear to God, I think she fucked every guy in High School. When we had lunch, every guy who passed by our table was like, “yea I fucked her” . So she pushed me to lose it, and eventually I did. She made me practice sucking dick on bananas, and shoving cucumbers up my pussy and all that.
PK: Wow, I wish I was a vegetable near you. Where did you grow up?
JJ: San Diego, I grew up here and I still live here.
PK: Did you go to High School there too and everything?
JJ: Yes, I finished High School here, and went to college and got my nursing degree.
PK: Did you brag to all the college boys that you could deep throat a banana?
JJ: Well I would have but I married my high school boyfriend, so I was pretty much off the market during my college years.
PK: You were married during college?
JJ: Yes, I got married when I was 20 years old, and then I got divorced.
PK: How long did it last?
JJ: It went on for about 6 years.
PK: Six years is about the normal marriage! Nothing wrong with that. You did good.
JJ: Ha ha, thank you.
PK: So then how did you get into porn?
JJ: Well, my first husband was a porn addict. A severe porn addict – like he was getting fired from job after job, $4,000 worth of phone sex bills, jerked off 15 times a day, I mean it was bad.
JJ: Yea, and I thought there was something wrong with me. Maybe I wasn’t attractive enough or whatever. I mean at the time I was a nurse, and I was supporting us, and I bought a pair of big tits to maybe get his interest. Nothing was working.
PK: That is so surreal. You were married to a porn addict, and eventually became a Penthouse Pet!!
JJ: He was just weird. So I began stripping to raise my self-esteem, because when I got onstage, all these guys wanted me, and it felt great. I had so many fans and got so much attention, that I got the confidence to dump my husband and that’s what I did.
PK: So for the first time, stripping does some good in a woman’s life!! Hallelujah!!
JJ: Ha ha, yes – so then I ran into an adult film producer who worked with Peter North, and Jewel DeNyle.
PK: Were you terrified going onstage for the first time? A housewife, who worked during the day as a nurse – I would think you’d be terrified.
JJ: I was scared, absolutely. I had to have a few beers. I think my dance training helped, because it showed them I knew how to move.
PK: You had dance lessons?
JJ: I had all kinds of lessons, are you kidding? I played the accordion professionally since I was 9, I sing Opera, I’ve been in musicals- I’ve always been a performer.
PK: Don’t forget your amazing ability to play the skin flute!
JJ: Yes, that happens to be my favorite.
PK: Now let me ask you about this fitness bug that bit you. For all of you readers, take a look at this physique that Penthouse Pet Jewels Jade has. Biceps, six pack, legs, even her muscles have muscles. Amazing. How did all this get started?
JJ: I played soccer for 11 years, did dance, track, cross country, all that. I started bodybuilding 10 years ago, and I took it up a notch with my current husband, who happens to be an active duty Navy Seal. He’s an instructor too, so he’s got about 200 students and he does not mess around. I mean, Navy Seals are the best of the best. He can wake up and not run for 6 months, and then go do a ten mile run.
PK: Wow. You married a Navy Seal?! A buff, rigorous, gung ho Navy Seal?! I hate to ask about the sex – you guys must break furniture or something. You guys must be like two Terminators going at it on a mattress!
JJ: Funny you should say that. Right now I’m sitting on a mattress, on the floor, because the bed frame is currently out of commission.
PK: Animals!! You guys are animals!!
JJ: Yea, I dunno if we’ll ever get a bed frame again.
PK: You need a concrete bed frame.
JJ: Well, we’ll probably break that too.
PK: Now when he ejaculates, is it like super sperm? Does it hit the ceiling?
JJ: You know he did do that once. I’m not lying – he shot it straight up and some of it actually stuck to the ceiling.
PK: Holy Bacci Balls!! Mine just dribbles out like a leaky faucet. He hits the ceiling?!
JJ: Yea, just once, though – but yea.
PK: Now how long were you dancing before you made the leap into movies?
JJ: About 4 years.
PK: Did you know of Peter North before you met him?
JJ: Yes, I knew about his movies, and I went over to his house and we did a Girls Gone Wild kind of video, as like, an audition.
JJ: Then Peter took me to a set and I got to sit down behind the scenes and see if it was something I really wanted to do, and get comfortable with everything.
PK: I’m guessing all turned out okay.
JJ: Yes, my first movie was for Puritan, called “Escape to Sex Island”. My first scene was an anal scene.
PK: Your very first scene, was up the ass? That’s not supposed to happen.
JJ: It was with Cheyne Collins, and I don’t know what I was thinking. I did anal in my personal life, like once before, that was it.
PK: How bad did it hurt the next day?
JJ: It didn’t – I took it really well, thank God.
PK: What a trooper. Did you stick any cucumbers up there to prep or anything?
JJ: No, ha ha – nothing.
PK: Do you still do anal scenes?
JJ: Yes, I do a lot of anal scenes these days.
PK: How does your husband feel about all this. His wife is taking it up the ass!
JJ: It has taken years for him to get comfortable with it, but now that he’s been on set and he’s met everyone and been around it – it’s much much better.
JJ: He knows now that porn is not just me meeting a guy and we fuck. It involves modeling, and acting, and dialogues, and positioning for the camera, and it really is hard work and an art form.
PK: Right, and his Navy Seal work is either you die or you go home.
JJ: Yes, a porn star and a Navy Seal – what a couple we make..
PK: Now tell me about your recent Penthouse cover. You are Miss February.
JJ: I am, thank you very much. I have a good spread inside, and it looks great.
PK: Do you spread in the spread?
JJ: Inside the magazine, there are hardcore shots. My pictorial has a little bit of spreading and some nice glamour shots in there too. It’s very sexy and very tasteful.
PK: It’s time to get dirty. What is your favorite sex position?
JJ: I am definitely a rider. I love to ride cock, I could pound a guy’s head through the wall.
PK: Where do you love to be splooged on?
JJ: Off camera – I love drinking it. I love sucking every single drop out of a dick. I give better blow jobs off camera then I do on camera. I got this skill set I use off-camera that I can’t do on-camera, because you can’t really see the dick through my head. So I have to cheat to the camera during blow jobs, so I can’t do what I want.
PK: Well you do it on webcam, right? You do web shows?
JJ: Oh yes. Definitely. You can sign on to my site, and my husband and I will definitely give you some great web shows every month. You could see my technique there, just not in my movies.
PK: Any awkward moments on a porn set?
JJ: Yes, just last week on a Penthouse set, I got my monthly visitor. You know us porn girls have our tricks and our ways of plugging it up and going on with the scene. Anyway, I plugged it up and I was fucking 3 guys, and all of a sudden, with an entire movie crew looking on, I just – I mean – blood just gushed out everywhere like a geyser. It was bad, it was horrible. The home owner who rented out the house to Penthouse was there, and I was apologizing profusely to her for getting blood everywhere in her house. I think you could call that awkward.
PK: Wait a minute. How do the guys keep their dicks hard while your squirting out blood everywhere?
JJ: Oh these guys have seen worse, believe me. This was like nothing to them, they didn’t even flinch. They have to deal with stinky pussies, cottage cheese, shit, yeast infections, and much worse, every single day of their lives. Blood is almost like welcomed to them if anything is gonna ooze out of a vagina.
PK: Yuck. You hear that guys? Whoever is reading this and wants to be a porn star – it’s gonna be gross.
JJ: Yes, it’s definitely a job.
PK: Do you think you’re a size queen, where dicks are concerned?
JJ: No, not really. My husband is about 7, 7 and a half, and it’s more then fine. I think it’s about how you use it, really. Definitely about how the guy uses what he’s got.
PK: Okay, time for shout outs, JJ. Give us your websites and new movies or whatever.
JJ: If guys want me to sign the Penthouse February issue, send it to my post office box, and I will sign it and send it back to you. The address is on my website, www.jewelsjade.com, I’m also on southerncharms.com, and I sell hardcore clips and blow job clips at www.clips4sale.com. I can bounce my tits like crazy, and do a lot of great things with them because I have so much control over them from working them out so much.
PK: Thank you so much for your time Jewels Jade, congrats on the Penthouse cover of the February issue and I wish you all the best.
JJ: thank you, Paulie K.
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