Celebrities With Big Dicks
Posted in In the News on Wednesday, May 2nd, 2012
Yeah, we know who all the big-dicked porn stars are, but what we’re interested in here is those male celebrities–movie stars, politicians, and athletes–who have enormous dongs but don’t show ‘em off.
Of course we’ll never be able to confirm this information unless these guys decide suddenly to make a porno, but we’ve gathered intelligence across the web from women and men who have claimed to witness the gigantic members of some of our favorite dudes.
Our sources say that Liam Neeson has a really, really big cock. Janice Dickinson wrote that Liam’s dick was so big that it resembled an Evian water bottle when it fell out of his pants.
Other than her word (which has spread around the web like wildfire), we have no other proof that Liam is as well-endowed as she claims when he’s, ahem, up and at ‘em. However, this picture emerged several years ago, showing a naked Liam from a British TV show. What do you think about his purported massiveness?
Willem Dafoe is a weird looking guy who ends up starring in films with really hot chicks. Most recently, Dafoe starred in a violently disturbing film, Antichrist, where his penis is tortured by his insane wife.
The director of Antichrist, Lars Von Trier, claimed that Dafoe’s penis was so big that they decided to use a penis double for the mutilation scene.
But is Antichrist really the only movie that featured a naked Willem Dafoe? Somehow I feel like he’s been naked in half the movies I’ve seen him in.
Much like the reports of Liam’s huge penis, news that Daniel Craig has a big cock is all hearsay. However, it is hearsay from the estimable Dame Judi Dench, who was quoted saying “It’s an absolute monster! Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. How uncouth of me!”
Uncouth indeed, Dame Dench, but we were all wondering after pictures like this completely flaunt the guy’s junk.
Formerly a comedian and now a politician, Al Franken is hung like a horse, according to a locker room sighting.
It’s difficult to figure out which politicians have the biggest cocks. Sure, we could guess by the types of political decisions they make, but unless they’re Anthony Wiener, most politicians don’t go around tweeting photos of their penises to pretty women across the country. Well, maybe in France they do.
Anonymous sources say that baseball player Jim Thome is “absolutely huge, caught myself staring. Thick from head to base. His cock looks like a baby’s arm hanging there.”
While we wish we knew who actually said this about Jim, we’re inclined to believe the Bulge Report, a site dedicated to examining–ahem–the biggest cocks in the world.
Have you heard something we haven’t? What celebrities are missing from this list? Answer in the comments below!
Posted in In the News