Phil Varone interview about making some swinging adult entertainment
Posted in Featured, Interviews on Friday, August 31st, 2012
Phil Varone – Game Changer
Xtreme: Well, Phil, I’m not going to bore our readers with what it took for us to get here, but needless to say, it was a lot so let’s kick some ass.
Phil Varone: I know!
Xtreme: Tell me about “Swinging American Style: Texas Fuck ‘Em.” This has been a really exciting release for Vivid, not to mention somewhat of a change of pace for them.
Phil: It’s kind of a change of pace for the whole industry. I think that what we’re seeing happen is that even in the mainstream, programming is becoming a little racier, it’s pushing the envelope. “Sister Wives” is one of the shows that started that. Now I’m definitely not comparing swinging to a polygamous relationship, but the public is starting to realize that there are these alternative lifestyles out there, and I think that producers are starting to realize that the public wants to watch it, almost like a bad accident, although that’s reality shows in general. I think what makes a show successful is that fantasy, where people want to live the life, the fascination, whatever. And with swinging, people don’t quite understand what we do, and I think it was time to show it. And I’ve always kind of been a voice for it ever since my Playgirl article, and Steven Hirsch asked me about the lifestyle and said that he’d like to do a series but he’d want to get real swingers, and was I able to get these people together? So I said that they’re not porn stars, however there are some porn stars that are swingers; in fact, in my poker movie there are a couple of girls in there who’ve shot before that are swingers in real life. So it was hard because sometimes when [you’re looking for] swingers, they’re on the path to becoming adult stars, so they’re showing up in movies here and there but for the most part he really wanted to show what happens in a real situation, and that’s where “Swinging American Style” was born.
Xtreme: Do you perform in the movie?
Phil: Yeah! I’m shooting them in very amateurish… for lack of a better word, we call it porn, but I call it non-porn porn. It’s not like a regular porn. A regular adult film is camera angles and blocking the shot and getting the pop shot, but this is people coming to my house, we roll some flip cams and basically tape what you’re doing yourself with your partner. That’s how we film it, so you’re actually holding the camera. Then, I actually had a friend of mine who was running the main camera, as we call it the B-roll cam that carries everything, he ended up getting so turned on that he got into the damn movie. I turn around and all of a sudden he’s got the camera and his dick out. I wasn’t planning on the camera man sticking his dick into someone’s face; it just happened that way.
Xtreme: It certainly sounds like it comes very naturally to you because obviously these are people that you knew previously from the lifestyle.
Phil: Yeah, most of the girls that are in it, I’d played with in bed many times. So it’s pretty comfortable to be in this situation. Because swingers also don’t have that uptightness about sex. In swinging, our sex isn’t intimate. We do it for fun. So many people get caught up in intimacy and say, like, “How can you have sex with another person? That’s so intimate!” but there’s nothing intimate about having sex with another person. Intimacy is with your spouse. That’s where you’re intimate. You’re just having sex for fun when you’re having sex with other people that you don’t share a life with, so there’s a huge difference, but people are programmed to believe the bullshit marriage stuff. I’d rather be a swinger than be in the seventy to eighty percent cheated on divorce rate that goes on in the country.
Xtreme: How long has swinging been part of your life?
Phil: Probably about half of my life. My first wife and I started experimenting, and that was a long time ago. Then I was a single male in the swinging lifestyle, which is really hard because there are a lot of trust issues with swingers’ groups.
Xtreme: I’ve written profiles on clubs for swingers and that sort of thing and some of them won’t even allow single men through the doors.
Phil: Right. Because they’re men! But I’m not going to defend men. We’re idiots. We don’t know how to fucking act right. The only reason why men rule the world is because men say they rule the world when we all know that women do. How is it that we can’t accept a woman running a giant corporation? They are now, finally, but it’s only been so many years since women weren’t even allowed to vote. That’s how scared men are of women, and they should be, because we’re fucking idiots. Every decision we make has to do with dick and pussy. It never has any thought. That’s why when idiots get caught texting pictures of their dick, you know, congressmen… “Oh, I didn’t do that, I didn’t do that!” When that idiot [Anthony] Weiner, or whatever his name was, sent the picture of his dick, I said, “Man, this is gonna be bad.” Because you know he did it, and he’s lying like crazy. And even President Clinton, for Christ’s sake. You know what? If I were elected President tomorrow, I would fuck every one of my interns nonstop, and you know why? Because that’s what the President does. Goddammit, he deserves to, he’s the President! All the bullshit to get elected, give the guy some pussy, but don’t lie about it. That’s what we hated. Not that he got blown, but that he lied to us. But the government lies to us every day. Not to get off of the topic! What I’m saying is that men in swinging clubs are sneaky, and they’re aggressive sometimes. We allow single men into our relationship here, and sometimes you have to put your foot down, because there’s some guys that you don’t want around you. They just don’t understand the boundaries.
Xtreme: So if you’re part of a couple and you think you may want to incorporate swinging into your relationship, how should you have the conversation with your significant other?
Phil: Well, believe it or not, women are the ones that are most interested in it. I think that men may be interested because it’s like, “Wow, I get to have sex with another woman,” but the men don’t like the fact that another man is going to have sex with his woman, no matter how much fun they expect this new lifestyle to be. So I don’t know. When I met my girlfriend now, who I’ve been with for three and a half years, I basically just told her what I did. I said, “This is my lifestyle,” and she wasn’t a swinger before she met me but she kind of just jumped right in. In hindsight I probably could have eased her into it more, and it worked out fine, but we really went into it full-blast like we were pros. Like for example, she threw a birthday party for me and it was like any of the other parties we have except she doubled the amount of guys. So I’d recommend that this couple talk about it, but then really, really think about both sides of it and realize that in what stage of swinging do you want to be? There are so many different ways to swing. You could be a soft swap couple, you can be a soft swap that maybe does a few things, or you can be a full swap. It depends on what you want to do.
Xtreme: What is a soft swap?
Phil: It’s a couple of things. It could be where you have another couple in the room and both couples are having sex with their significant other but you’re in the room. Kind of experimenting with having sex in the same room as another couple having sex. Or maybe the wife of one couple can have oral with the husband of the other couple, like that kind of thing back and forth. Or the two wives can play with each other while the husbands watch. These are more voyeuristic things. A lot of times it’s just females doing girl-on-girl stuff before the guys have sex with their wives. We don’t play with soft swap couples because we’re full swappers, and that’s just not something that we’re into at all.
Xtreme: You’ve slept with thousands of women and you’re a swinger in your personal life, so perhaps doing porn isn’t that far out of your wheelhouse.
Phil: Like I said, I don’t really consider it porn. I do the same stuff in my bedroom with women and our friends. I know people have to put a label on things, but I’m just giving you an unrated version of reality. Vivid does a lot of parody porn, and I was talking to the director of one of them, Axel [Braun], and I said jokingly, “Hey, when are you gonna hire me for one of your movies?” and he said, “Well, I’m about to do a remake of ‘Rock of Ages.’ Do you want to play the lead?” To me, at that point, I’d be doing a porn. I’d be going to a set. I’d be a porn star. Right now, I’m just giving you a little insight into my life. Do we play drunken Scrabble that turns into orgies? Yes, we do. so I’m really not a porn star.
Xtreme: Is that something you would consider doing?
Phil: I probably would, because I’m having fun in this business. I’m 45 years old, I’m holding onto what I have left as far as looks go, I’m trying to have a good time while I age, because why be a grumpy old man and fucking die? I’m going to check shit off my bucket list. I mean, I’m not having a midlife crisis. When I was twenty years old, I was on the road and I was banging as many girls as I wanted to and having a great time, and I’m not going to continue to keep doing that until I die because there’s no reason for me to stop, especially when it’s only the hypocrites who really wish they were doing it that tell me to stop.
Xtreme: So you’re making more of these movies, right?
Phil: Absolutely. We shot a Las Vegas two-parter while we were at AVN, and I put a bunch of maniacs on an RV and took them to Big Bear for a weekend and that’s a two-parter too. Right now I’m shooting in California.
Xtreme: Awesome. Phil, thank you so much for hanging out.
Phil: Thank you!
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